I hope the person who stole my birth control gets pregnant.
For real though, don’t be textin me when my phone is in another room. Rude.
Bf: What do you think the fireworks are for?
Me: The end of my period.
I would give anything to be a member of En Vogue.
Me: *whisper* You didn’t know him
Caleb: He didn’t know me
My pimp hand is atrophying.
What rapper will use the govt shutdown in a rap simile first? Little Wayne? It sounds like his ass.
This well dressed hot guy has 3 baguettes. 3!
I love when people post tall people problems but they aren’t actually tall.
More like dashBORED, am I right?
When you’re young, it’s not really that hard for things to change your life.
Are you officially an adult when you no longer live in fear that “guess what” will be followed by “CHICKEN BUTT”?