Boomerangs are just frisbees for lonely people
"It’s a fine line between treating yourself and self harm," she thought to herself while eating croutons without salad.
Long hair, care so much it’s sad.
Do you ever fart and it sounds like opening a 2 liter bottle of soda?
Let’s see if a glasses compliment and some live comedy can pull me out of my funk today.
Is it time for a sequel to Save the Last Dance about raising interracial children yet? Please?
I don’t want this coffee to end.
*Cries into coffee.*
Since when does my phone correct crotch to crotchboobs. Phone, you’re gross.
I know I’m tired cause I just thought, “Wow, I’ve been up for almost 24 hours. Good thing I’m not a boner.”
Should I get a sweatshirt that says party poopin’ since 1991 or naw?
Since shit is a fertilizer maybe it’s not that bad that I constantly shit all over people’s ideas.
Eating a bagel in my underwear.
Good luck competing with this, the rest of my day.