BLOLG

Wendy Steiner's Tumblog

Do you ever fart and it sounds like opening a 2 liter bottle of soda?

Let’s see if a glasses compliment and some live comedy can pull me out of my funk today.

Is it time for a sequel to Save the Last Dance about raising interracial children yet? Please?

I don’t want this coffee to end.
*Cries into coffee.*
*Drinks tears.*

Since when does my phone correct crotch to crotchboobs. Phone, you’re gross.

I know I’m tired cause I just thought, “Wow, I’ve been up for almost 24 hours. Good thing I’m not a boner.”

gang0fwolves:

Am I the meanest?

SHO NUFF

Am I the prettiest?

SHO NUFF

Am I the baddest mofo low down around this town? 

SHO NUFF

(via puciprincess)

Should I get a sweatshirt that says party poopin’ since 1991 or naw?

Since shit is a fertilizer maybe it’s not that bad that I constantly shit all over people’s ideas.

woolsox:

What if doctors had to get teardrop tattoos every time they had a patient die

What if every time someone killed a joke, they had to get a teardrop tattoo.

(Source: loganlikesthis, via wendysteiner)

Eating a bagel in my underwear.
Good luck competing with this, the rest of my day.

woolsox:

What if doctors had to get teardrop tattoos every time they had a patient die

(Source: loganlikesthis)

There’s such a premium placed on sass these days. It’s like excuse me, I was calling bitches out in the womb.

How I know I’m lazy: I have to pee medium bad, but I still haven’t gotten out of bed and prob won’t til it’s code red.