Is it time for a sequel to Save the Last Dance about raising interracial children yet? Please?
I don’t want this coffee to end.
*Cries into coffee.*
Since when does my phone correct crotch to crotchboobs. Phone, you’re gross.
I know I’m tired cause I just thought, “Wow, I’ve been up for almost 24 hours. Good thing I’m not a boner.”
Should I get a sweatshirt that says party poopin’ since 1991 or naw?
Since shit is a fertilizer maybe it’s not that bad that I constantly shit all over people’s ideas.
Eating a bagel in my underwear.
Good luck competing with this, the rest of my day.
What if doctors had to get teardrop tattoos every time they had a patient die
There’s such a premium placed on sass these days. It’s like excuse me, I was calling bitches out in the womb.
How I know I’m lazy: I have to pee medium bad, but I still haven’t gotten out of bed and prob won’t til it’s code red.
I want to thank my ass fat for catching my fall off the bus yesterday. I appreciate that you’ll always be there for me. Seriously, you’ll always be there, I have no plans to start working out.
How I know life is unfair: I have slight BO and am also freezing.
Just licked deodorant off my hand. Really thought it was gonna be cream cheese.